more pictures!

Just received some new pictures from our agency! Love!!

Moving Right Along

Our process to Karsynn is now moving right along.  We received our finalized home study finally on Monday.  Receiving our home study is really the end of one step of the process and allows us to begin the next step.  We are now officially done with the original agency and have completely switched to the agency we need to be with to help us through the rest of this journey.  We now send a copy of our home study to homeland security for our I-800a application, along with about $1000 for fingerprints (because Katelyn is over 18 and has to be fingerprinted as well), for their approval to adopt internationally.  As we wait for that approval, we send our documents all off for authentication and certification with the state.  Once those all arrive back, we will finally be DTC which means our documents will be on their way to China!  That is always an exciting time because that marks the end of all the endless paperwork.

Here at home we are entering into our busy time which is also known as swim season.  The good news is that this year it is only Bradley we have to get to and from practice (including 5:30am practices) and attend meets of.  Tomorrow is his first meet.  Katelyn is flying through her first year of college already and has recently met the most amazing guy.  She is looking forward to her spring break in a week.  Brayden is doing pretty well in school and we are working hard to remind him that his hard work in school will help him in the future; he thinks his video games will.  We are looking forward to celebrating 7 years with Kennedi home with us next month and cannot believe she will be 13 soon.  We just went to Disneyland and experienced their Chinese New Year Celebration which was a blast!

Here's your Day 5 of the Seeds of Change Devotional:

"When our family stepped out of our comfort zone and into the world of adoption, our lives were forever changed.  Having personally witnessed the plight of orphans in Haiti, China, El Salvador, Africa, and here in the USA, having seen their pain and heard their heart's cry, we knew we needed to respond.  Our journey has not been easy, comfortable, or something for which we were even prepared.  Yet God was calling us to step out, be different, and start responding to the command of James 1:27 to care for orphans in their distress.

I have sat in church services with thousands of Christians, all crying for justice, saying that God is up to something-that a new "thing" is happening.  But we are staying there, in that place, arms raised high but not reaching out.  After we hear the plight of the hungry, the needs of widows, the reality of the fatherless...what?  How do we Show Hope in a world that is so desperate, a world that is truly hopeless?  How do we respond?  Beyond what is comfortable, beyond what is easy, beyond simply enough to cross it off of our list of "Christian" things to do.

If we will respond to the needs of orphans to the same degree that God responded to the need of His orphans, by sacrificing His only Son, then imagine, just imagine what could start happening.  If we respond beyond our ease, beyond our convenience, with our focus on Jesus Christ and Him crucified for us, what would start to happen?  If we respond like a people who have been given the best, the greatest gift in the world, life eternal, through the hardest sacrifice ever made, what would we do?  Would we take the path of least resistance?  Or would we throw ourselves before the Lord, exulting in His goodness and plead with Him to show us what our role is.

All of our parts are different, and I am the last to pretend to know what is right for each of us. That is truly between you and God.  But I am asking one thing.  Be willing to go beyond easy.  Ask God to have His way with your life, even if it means that He must really stretch you, really push you to the limit.  You may find yourself adopting when you thought you couldn't.  You may find yourself serving in another country when you thought you would never go.  You may get involved with the fatherless children in your neighborhood who were orphaned by divorce or death when you thought it would be too much.  I am so glad that our family has walked some of the harder roads, because the difficulties we have experienced pale in comparison to the blessings of the peace, joy, and purpose that God has given, just as Christ could take our place at the cross because of the joy that was set before him.

Really pray, and really consider the cost that has been paid for you.  Our salvation was purchased at an astronomical price, the price of an only Son.  How great is the love of God!  are we willing to share that kind of sacrificial love with the orphans for whom God has asked us to care?  Jesus called us to love as He loved because He wanted His joy to be in us so that our joy "may be complete" (John 15:10-12)."

~Mary Beth Chapman

I am always so glad that we decided we would not play this thing called life "safe".  God has sent me (and our family) on some amazing and humbling journeys that I could have never imagined going on.  Be brave.  Follow God's calling on your life, you won't regret it!

Karsynn Yu Yang 

we are coming for you!!! 

Move over Satan!

For those of you that actually read my blog (or that ONE person who does)...I am so sorry for the delay in my next post.  I had every intention of writing a new post a week and a half ago but we went to Disneyland that weekend and it didn't turn out to be the weekend we expected.  The whole reason we were going to Disneyland was because they do a big Chinese New Year celebration that we have never gone to.  So for Christmas my parents gave us annual passes so we could go.  Ummm yeah well, I had the weekend WRONG! We walked into California Adventure and saw Goofy right away and he was NOT dressed up the way they said he would be.  Hmmmm.  We then look around and there are no lanterns or Chinese dragons to be seen.  Oh goodness my heart sank.  Katelyn looked on her phone and it is actually February 19th-22nd! We of course still had fun on the rides and things...we were in Disneyland so how could you not?!?  However, I guess I had a little too much fun on the rides because I developed tendonitis in my shoulder and couldn't move it on that Sunday at all.  We rode a couple rides and then came home early so Mark could watch his team play in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately they lost in a terrible play at the end of the game.  Poor Seahawks.  Oh well.  We still had a good time in Disneyland regardless and will be returning next weekend for Chinese New Year!

Then I was going to do an update for you all at the end of last week but some things materialized with our adoption that I knew I had to wait and figure all this out before posting.  So here we are as of today...we are changing adoption agencies unfortunately.  Long story short...

we were only using this agency, that we had never heard of prior to this ordeal, because they were the only ones who would be getting "Nissa's" file.

we were on this journey because of "Nissa" and "Nissa" only (or so we thought)

we have been waiting for "Nissa's" file to be prepared since September and still cannot be given a time frame of when to expect it

so we continued down this road, because of the love we have for this sweet girl, giving money to an agency when we hadn't even reviewed this girl's file

the whole time I am leery of this agency and feel there's just something not right with things but we keep moving forward one day at a time

last week (without getting into details) I talk to a few other families and moms who confirm my suspicions and we begin to question the integrity of this agency

we decide we have no other option but to leave our agency because of the things we have heard and lack of trust with them because we were at a point in the process where it was leave now or be stuck for the rest of the process, unfortunately this means the loss of about $1000

but more than that, this means giving up on our little girl "Nissa"

we contacted our agency we used with Brayden (who is wonderful by the way) and they helped pull files for us and look at other children who were waiting

unfortunately when comparing them to "Nissa", none of these children pulled at my heart like she did

was told by another sweet mom that when we found the girl for us we would know

on Monday our 'new' agency told us we needed to tell the agency we were leaving because things in our home study needed to be written a certain way (we were not wanting to tell them until our home study was in our hands because we don't want them to mess around and not get it to us in a timely manner)

Monday night I wrote the hardest email ever to the agency letting them know we would not be continuing.  It's one thing to talk about doing so but another thing to actually do so.  They know how much "Nissa" is a part of my heart and heard from me almost daily about her and her file.  They knew the heart break this is causing.  They knew.

Also Monday night the new list of waiting children in China (called the Shared List and comes out usually once a month) came out.  What timing!  This list is a list of hundreds of children who's files are prepared and any agency can pick them up for their families.  I have a facebook friend who has access to the list and sent me the most stunning 6 1/2 year old girl I had ever seen!  STUNNING!  "Nissa" is cute and seems so spunky but this girl in front of me Monday night was stunning in my opinion.  I had to get my hands on her file!  This FB friend sent me her file and I knew she could be our daughter.  I knew.  

Yesterday was really hard

really, really hard

I woke to two emails from the agency we are leaving saying "well good luck on your new kid".  That's it?  You know how heartbroken we are and how much this girl is a part of our family (she was on our Christmas cards for goodness sake!) and that's all you have to say?  Then I see these two women have "Nissa" posted all over FB looking for her family because "the family we had for her backed out of no fault of Nissa's".  No...it was your fault!  They posted her and commented on her post over and over all day long as to rub it in.  Talk about a knife to the heart.

BUT, Satan will NOT win this battle!  

We know God has gone before us.  He knows exactly which child will be our daughter.  He has known all along.  Maybe "Nissa" was used by God to get us to just consider adopting again and adopting a Down syndrome child.  Maybe God will lead "Nissa" to our family eventually, maybe he has the perfect family for her and it is not ours.  But we know He is faithful and has just what we need in His plans

And we are submitting our Letter of Intent (LOI) today

for this STUNNING girl from Qingdao, China!

"Nissa" will always have a place in my heart.  I pray God has just the perfect family for her and that they find her.  And if not, this agency has 3 months to find them and if they don't her file has to be released to the Shared List so any agency can pick it up, and we WILL be bringing home two girls! Haha!! ;-)

So please just be in continued prayer for our journey if you think of us.  Pray they do not hold up our home study and will hand it over to our new agency as soon as possible (I posted a complaint against them on a "rate your agency" site on FB yesterday and they have someone who is a snoop and reports any negativity back to them), that we get an update with more pictures and hopefully a video of this sweet new girl of ours, that my necklaces continue to sell well (I am making necklaces that a couple friends helped design that you can see on FB here or look us up on Instagram at Handmade Hope), that we receive some grants we are fixing to apply for, and that we can now move forward smoothly and quickly with the rest of our process.

I am certain, it's not an adoption without roadblocks Satan tries to throw at us.  I know that a year from now we will say it was all worth it like we did with our other two adoption processes.  It just hurts my heart right now.  Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Day 4 of the Seeds of Change Devotional:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~Hebrews 11:1

Life is too short and full of too many responsibilities to invest in every good idea that comes our way.  As for God ideas, we do not want to miss those and are willing to sacrifice much in order to be a part.  In church work and 'ministry', there seems to be innumerable 'good ideas', but they often accomplish far less good than is anticipated.  Such cases remind me of God's words through the prophet Haggai, "You have planted much, but harvested little." Why? Where did the Israelites go wrong? They were busy building their own paneled houses (individual ministries) and not building up God's house, allowing Him to be the architect.  Far too often we, in the church, invest in things that seem good but are not best because they are not of God.  Still, we foolishly wonder, when the dust settles, why God did not empower our plans and work.

The Lord is our Shepherd, so we need not worry about our path as long as we are willing to follow Him and "do" for His name's sake.  What does this look like?  God recently reminded me that "without faith it is impossible to please God," (Heb. 11:6) and that the very definition of faith is "the substance of things not seen" (Heb 11:1).  In other words...Faith is hope shown!  Showing hope is a God idea and has been in His mind before the foundations of the world.  God calls His children to reveal the authenticity of their faith through obedient and loving actions to a needy world.  Did not Jesus Himself show us the way to walk?

So if we are to "show hope", we must first ask ourselves what are those things for which the Word calls us to hope: the hope of glory, the hope of restoration and redemption, the hope of the weak becoming strong, the lame becoming whole, the poor becoming rich, the hope of joy replacing tears, the hope of a heavenly home...

We must always remember that these actions are to flow out of a continual, daily walk with Christ-a relationship founded on prayer.  Prayer maintains our perspective.  Only in light of our heavenly hope does our work on this earth make sense, remain sustainable, and have eternal value.  To walk in the good works that God has prepared for us beforehand, we must stay connected to the source! 

~Scott Hasenbalg

Wow, wasn't this fitting??

XOXOXO

Miss "K"

Thinking about you a lot today, Miss K (as a friend of mine has nicknamed you).  

Wondering what you are doing.  

Hoping you are not sick and that you have been staying warm in the cold weather.  

Praying you still have that sweet smile on your face and are playing with many stickers, drawing many pictures and still dancing like you are in your video.

Wish I could share your picture to the world!

Cannot wait to have you home with us.

There are so many people here at home who are praying for you and helping to bring you home, I can't wait for you to meet them!

Your sister, Kennedi, has been talking about going to China with us to meet you and take care of you and she said she is bringing pennies for you to help you learn to count. 

We are working hard so that the day arrives faster than later. 

We love you.

There's nothing really exciting to share on the adoption front.  Just mounds of paperwork.  Home study paperwork, dossier paperwork, grant paperwork.  I have a huge file folder to try and keep it all organized but it is so much that I may need a second folder!  Soon, the paperwork will all be behind us and things will seem less chaotic.  I am not good with having things "pending".  I am the type that likes to have all my ducks in a row and things checked off my to-do list.  Hopefully by April or May (my goal anyways) all our paperwork will be on its way to China and I can breathe some.  For now it's signing our life away (worse than buying a house), appointments to physicals, notarizing, and finger prints.Our home study should be done by mid-February and then it is off to homeland security for our finger prints (Katelyn included since she is 18), wait for approval from them, and then more authentication of our documents before they can be sent to China.  We are now working on our next payment due of $6900 by the time our documents go to China so prayer for that would be appreciated!  We have already seen God move mountain after mountain and know that He is faithful.  His hands are all over this adoption and we are so blessed to be traveling this road.

Here is #3 of the 30 devotionals from Seeds of Change.  I hope it moves you like this book has moved me!

After my daughter Emily and I went on a mission trip and served orphans in Haiti together, Emily, only eleven at the time, started praying and campaigning for our family to adopt.  Eventually, I agreed to be open and pray about it.  As I listened for God's voice and searched His Word, I discovered that we, as Christians, are all called to the work of caring for orphans-the least of the least.  And so, it became clear to my own heart that God was calling me specifically to simply put one foot in front of the other and start down the path towards adoption.  It seemed to me, just as the Scriptures say, that God was indeed "calling me by name".

During my journey, God reminded me of the verse found in Luke 12:48, which says, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."  When we came face to face with the orphans of Haiti, we came face to face with Jesus.  Although more was being required as a result of this new knowledge, I can honestly say that God has never required anything of us without giving us sufficient grace to accomplish it.  For where God guides, He always provides.  I realized that it was time for me to answer the simple question:  now that I've seen the face of Jesus in these orphans, what now?

So in March of 2000, I found myself, a very scared mother of three, waiting in a hotel room in China.  Our whole family was together to receive our newly adopted daughter into the family.  I was so fearful and full of questions.  Am I too old?  What if I feel differently about her than my other children?  What if she screams?  What if she won't eat?  What if...?  What if...?  Finally it was time to meet the newest member of the family.  What happened in those next few moments was nothing short of a miracle.  Here in front of me was an orphan, a nameless little person in tattered clothes and mis-matched socks tied on with rag strips.  The moment they handed me that tiny bundle, she became Shaohannah Hope Yan Chapman, my daughter.

As I held her in my arms, realizing that she did nothing to deserve my love, I finally got it.  Shaohannah, in an instant, became a beloved daughter, a princess, an heir.  God was right there with me whispering, "This is how I view you.  You were an orphan, and I adopted you into my family."  Oh what a wonderful God, hiding His treasures among us, and through them, showing us His face and His love for us!  For a long time I struggled with depression, and still do in some ways, but in the midst of that struggle and the craziness of having a new baby, I experienced-and still do-an underlying peace like never before.  And I cannot imagine our family, devoid of the love and impact that have now come as a result of our three beautiful treasures, who each came to us through adoption, God led us to them in unique and amazing ways, and He has used their lives to ultimately draw us closer to Himself.

Our God is faithful to accomplish so much through our small steps of obedience, pouring out His blessings in the process.  I have found that obedience to God is the treasure map to untold riches and treasure. Those of you who are involved in orphan care and adoption are already aware of the incredible riches that were hidden to you beforehand.  For those who are not yet engaged in this work, I encourage you to answer God's invitation to know Him more profoundly by joining Him in loving orphans; God may desire to show His faithfulness to orphans through you.  When we respond to God's invitation to step into this ministry, we quickly realize that we are the ones most blessed because the treasures hidden in secret places become ours.

Take a few minutes to sit and ask God to clearly show you what steps of obedience He might have for you to take.  Is there anything God is asking you to do right now, regardless of how big or small, that you can obediently do in the joyful knowledge that He loves you?

~Mary Beth Chapman

File...where art thou??

Well nothing much has happened in our process recently.

Actually not much has happened in many waiting family's process recently and there is a lot up in the air in the China adoption community.

The adoption side of the Chinese government shut down at Christmas to re-vamp their system and website.  Things were suppose to be back up and running on the 5th and since then things have been well...sparse to say the least.

So that means we still have not heard word on her file and we really have no way of knowing when that will come.  We have been waiting for it since September but I have been reassured that her orphanage is a very good one and they are working on getting it done.

The good news is we are moving full steam ahead with our home study and dossier so that when her file does come we will not be behind with the process at all.  We have our home study interviews next weekend, have taken our finger prints, and have our physicals coming up.  Things seem to be moving very quickly with the paperwork...which means fees are coming due.

Trying to remember that we are trusting God with this journey He has placed us on.  Even though we have adopted twice before, the fear of the costs, and the trip, and the adjustments to our new life are all overwhelming some days.  This is a new special need for us as well and so that adds another factor into this journey of our's.  However, I know more than anything that this little girl is our daughter, that God has placed her before us, and that there is great purpose to her life and this road we travel.  I cannot wait to show you her picture and tell you more about her and the story!

Until then... I will leave you with the #2 of the 30 Seeds of Change devotionals:

An Invitation to Know God

"God's heart for orphans is huge.  Throughout scripture God shows this.  He calls Himself the Father to the Fatherless, He says He delights in setting the lonely in families, and He asks us to care for the orphans, the fatherless, and those who don't have a family.  But also we know God loves orphans simply because we know God loves us.  For while we were still worthless, abandoned, hopeless orphans, God showed us His great love by adopting us into His family, and giving us the "Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father'" (Romans 8:15).  As John Piper says, "Adoption is the visible gospel."

God desires that we show his love to the world by going out and in the same way caring for orphans in their distress (James 1:27).  This is not about you fulfilling your responsibility.  This is not, "You better do it or else."  God comes to us as a Father, full of love.  We are not His children because of what we've done, what we've accomplished, or because of any merit of our own.  God clearly says that He predestined us to be adopted into His family, to become His children, "according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise and glory of His grace" (Ephesians 1:5-6).  He did this to glorify Himself because He loves us and because He gets the glory!  "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1)

When I was in China worshiping at an orphanage singing, "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord...I want to see you," the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Open your eyes, I am right in front of you." And when I opened my eyes, I saw this little orphan girl who had crawled into my guitar case while I was singing and was now sitting there staring up at me.  I had said I wanted to find God, and He answered by showing me that He is there, right where He said He would be, among the poor, the needy, the orphan-the least of the least.

God has poured out His love to us.  At some point in our lives, He revealed himself to us, showed us our need for Him, and now here we are-no longer orphans-but fully adopted sons and daughters.  As we recognize the love of God for us, as we recognize Him rejoicing over us, we simply say, "I want to respond to Your love, what can I do?"  And I believe God says, "Let me recreate that love in your heart.  I want to show up in you, My people, My church."

We pray for revival; we pray for God to move in powerful, earth-shattering ways, and I believe God is saying, "I want to show up infinitely more than you want Me to."  I believe the millions of waiting children represent innumerable opportunities for God to show up and reveal His glory through us, His church.  And that's the invitation from God, "Come and know me, and I will make myself known through you, members of my body, the church, as you care for orphans in their distress."

What are the things you want more that anything else in this life?  How might God answer your heart's deepest desires through serving and glorifying Him among the needy?  What would you say to God in response to His invitation to know Him by loving orphans?  What are some practical ways you can begin answering His invitation?

~Steven Curtis Chapman

Goodbye 2014...Hello 2015!

As we get ready to say goodbye to the year 2014 and hello to 2015, I am excited and looking forward to the new year because, God willing, it will be the year our girl comes home! Although we don't have any word on her file still, we are moving forward with preparing our home study and documents to send to China when her file does arrive.  China is installing a new computer system with new guidelines for their adoptions as we speak so that will most likely cause some delays, although we pray it does not.  We have completed most of the home study paperwork and are waiting for our first of two interviews.  We have also taken our first set of fingerprints (Katelyn included since she is now 18 and living at home...maybe we should kick her out until the paperwork is finished, haha!) and have our physicals scheduled.  We are hoping to have our home study done by early February so we can work on getting our paperwork to China!  Praying we can travel by October or November at the latest!  So to pass the time I think I will share a devotional out of my very favorite devotional "Seeds of Change" made by Show Hope, every 10 days or so until we travel.  Praying we travel before I make it through the devotional!  So here's day 1, enjoy!

"We were created for adventure.  The evidence is there in our movies, our stories, and even our lives, as the constant battle is waged between striving to remain safe verses bravely stepping out to live the full life that God offers.  We've all heard the saying, "Be careful what you ask for," and as a songwriter, I've learned to be careful of what I sing in my songs.  I have talked about saddling up my horse and going on a great adventure, taking the leap of faith and diving in, waking the neighbors and living out loud; and it's almost overwhelming to think about how God has taken me at my word and led our family on the incredible adventure of adoption-not once but three times.  It wasn't until our second adoption that I began to really understand what God was doing with my family.  I walked into church on September 1, 2002, whole-heartedly convinced that one adoption was enough and that we were not going to adopt another child.  During that service, our good friends, who have four biological and five adopted children, were brought up on stage for the dedication of their latest adopted child, a boy with special needs.  What happened next was almost as if God lifted my chin, and as clearly as I've ever heard Him, He said to my spirit, "I've heard you pray that you really want to know Me and experience Me.  There it is; that's my heart you see on that stage.  That's your story; that's my story.  There in front of you is a picture of the Kingdom of Heaven." And it was this family with whom Mary Beth and i have walked through some of the darkest parts of adoption.  We've gone with them into treatment centers and have shed many tears together.  They knew exactly what they were getting into by adopting again, but still, here they were saying, "THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS CALLED US TO DO.  WE KNOW IT'S MESSY; WE KNOW IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE, AND IT'S GOING TO TURN OUR LIVES UPSIDE DOWN, BUT THIS IS GOD'S HEART." I realized that God was reminding me of His Word where He says that "[He] delights in setting the lonely in families." God was showing me that He was going to keep pouring out His love for orphans, and He was looking for hearts to pour his love into, for people who really want to do what He is doing.  He didn't say, "Caring for orphans is your duty, and if you don't do this, I'm going to be disappointed with you."  Instead, it's as if, as a Dad, god put His arm around me and said, "You don't have to do this, but I'm inviting you in, because I want you to know Me, and I want our relationship to go deeper.  If you really want to see Me show up, I want to take you on another adventure."  God was saying, "I'm going to provide for these children, but I want to invite you to be a part of that.  I'm going to glorify Myself through this."  There was nothing safe about God's invitation.  All adventures carry with them some level of excitement and hazard, and we cannot remain safe and comfortable and still go on a God-sized adventure.  But God doesn't call us to be safe; He calls us to be bold and courageous, and we can trust that even our safety will be taken care of by the One who invites us to bravely step out in faith.  As C.S. Lewis says in Chronicles of Narnia when speaking of Aslan, "Of course He isn't safe, but He is good."  It has been amazing to take God up on His invitation.  And to think, if I had chosen to simply remain safe, I could've missed it.  I could have missed Him.  Do you really want to know God?  Do you really want all He has for you, the abundant life He promised you?  It may take getting a little uncomfortable, and it may take risking a little of what the world tells us to hold on to.  But He is good, and what He has for us is worth far more than all the world has to offer.  Are you willing to step out boldly and follow Him wherever He may lead?  What might that look like for you today?" ~Steven Curtis Chapman